Judy - Struggling today

I'm struggling a bit today, I don't mind admitting it. I feel like everything is working against me and I'm dragging my feet to keep going. I don't have these days very often. But boy oh boy, I'm not having a happy time today.

So most of you know Sara is off at camp. She left yesterday morning. I was full of hope that a week at camp would help distract her from her situation and keep the pain at bay.

Now unfortunately, this camp is run externally. So while the school is well aware of Sara's illness, the people who run this camp are not. And clearly they did not read the comprehensive medical forms I filled in or listen to the year coordinator who phoned the person in charge to talk about Sara. So yesterday Sara was reprimanded for going off to get her drink organised and prohibited from leaving while everyone else was eating. She was told she could not use the kitchen to wash up her bottle and glass and worst of all was offered a cup of tea and biscuit when she complained of not feeling well.

I felt incredibly helpless here at home. I had specifically had a meeting at the school to talk about how best she could manage at this camp and day 1 they could not get it right.

This morning Sara rang me in terrible pain. I could hear it in her voice. She was shakey and not focused. I told her to go back to her room and lie down and call me in an hour. Meanwhile I made preparations to go and pick her up (by that I mean I rang my mum and dad to ask if they wanted to go for a lovely drive to the camp to pick up their grand daughter, to which of course they said yes).

Sara has decided to stay on at camp. On the one hand this makes me happy, because I still have hope that she can put her pain aside and enjoy some of the fun aspects of being with her friends. But perhaps I'm wrong. Perhaps the best thing for her is to be with her mum, dad and sister, in familiar territory and in her own bed.

I just don't know what the right thing to do is. I always assumed that in times like these, I would just know what the right thing to do was, but I'm conflicted and on edge. Actually what I really would like is for someone to take me to a warm climate, plonk me on a beach with a cocktail and a good book and then bring me back to a healthy, happy family. Is that too much to ask?